DEAR CARMELLA,

TO THE ATTENTION OF THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE KINDS OF BOOKS AND RADIO PROGRAMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS THAT HELP PEOPLE TO MAKE HAPPIER LIVES FOR THEMSELVES WITH GOD'S HELP!
Dear Sir,
   My name is Carmella Pagliacetti. I am a 66 year old widow, a devoted Mother, a good Catholic and 11 times a Grandmother. All my life since I am a little girl I am able to solve people's problems. "Carmella, what should I do?" "Carmella, what's wrong with me?" Carmella, this. Carmella, that. And always the Holy Spirit whispers in my ear what to say. "Aunt Rosa, beg Uncle ChooChoo for forgiveness, make a big fish dinner and make the First Fridays for the rest of your life." "Sal, you gotta stop thinking about that dirty whore with immoral thoughts. Go to Mr. Gentilli and beg his forgiveness and ask for Little Theresa's hand in Holy Matrimony." "Lena, you will never get yourself a husband if you don't stop stuffing your mouth like a pig. Beg the Blessed Mother for forgiveness for your gluttony and fast like Our Lord Jesus did in the desert."
   Always my advice works. Ask anybody in South Philly in St. Monica's parish. So what I'm thinking is, the Jews have that Dr. Laura and the protestants have big mouth Dr. Phil, but who have the Catholics, especially the Italian Catholics have?
   I am writing this letter because the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear that I should, and I am the handmaiden of the Holy Spirit. I would like to steer the sinning masses away from near occasions of sin and lead them to Christ. Please print this letter exactly as He made me write it. Thank you.
Mrs. Carmella Pagliacetti
PS The photo was taken on the occasion of my senior prom in 1953 at St, Maria Goretti High School. I went with my dead husband Al. I look much the same.