HEAD SMACKING SONIC OSCILLATOR

Dear Idea Family,
Try this on for size. Introducing the Head Smacking Sonic Oscillator, a remote control device that lets me (or you) administer a sharp slap to the forehead of anyone you deem needs one. Those who ignore the rules of common courtesy--what hope for a being who doesn't comprehend the notion of alternate merge? Hideous and unforgivable fashion faux pas. Litterers. The rude, the loud, the insistent. A little reminder for the criminally annoying. And the HSSO is completely remote control so the recipient never knows who they've offended and there is no chance of ugly retribution. It is safe and easy to operate once you get the hang of it. Send for details if you agree that "To Each His Own" is a misguided sentiment.

Watch Your Step,
Toby Black
Boston MA

PS I would like to correspond with Angie McLaughlin. She seems to be my kind of woman.
How can I arrange this?

SHARYN SEZ, HI TOBY AND WELCOME TO THE FAMILY! ANGIE IS A HOOT--SHE JUST SENT ME SOME MORE GREAT IDEAS THAT I'LL POST SOON. LOTS OF IDEA LADIES FANS WOULD LIKE TO CONNECT. WE'LL HAVE TO WORK ON A SAFE AND FUN WAY TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

SUREAL CEREAL

I HAVE A BRAND NEW UNIQUE MOST FABULOUS IDEA FOR AN ADULT BREAKFAST CEREAL...

SUREAL!!!! THE BREAKFAST OF PSYCHOPATHS AND POST MODERNISTS! SO CRUNCHY YOU'LL BE DAZED AND CONFUSED.

PS I HAVE THE RECIPE.

JERE

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Dear IdeoLady,
You know what makes me crazy? All these egghead types getting paid a ton for there dumb ideos. I work for an architextual company, but I'm not an engineer unless you count the sanatational type. Well I got a ton of good ideas and if I went to college I'd probably be working for a Nasa think tank or Washington dc there. Heres a couple of my good ideas. They just happen to be both of them alarm clocks.

Tilt-A-Bed Alarm
This bed tilts slowly from a regular horizontal position to a stand up vertical position. It will take about 20 minutes and stand up for 1 hour.

The Hit-And-Run Accident Alarm
This ones a little more action packed for the really hard to wake up. The headboard looks like a 1965 Buick Special. Black. The poor sucker sleeping there will wake up to screeching brakes headlights horn honking glass breaking. You get the picture. Wake up Sunshine. To stop it you gotta get up and stay up for 30 minutes. Pretty good huh?

If someone wants to buy these ideas they can reach me at

William DeGroot
Baltimore MD